Monday, January 07, 2008

Fat Issues

I'm tired! But proud of myself for getting up this morning and taking the imps to school then heading down to the gym. Today, I walked just over 2 miles in 47 minutes and burned about 300 calories (according to the treadmill) So that's the first step in accomplishing one of my New Year's resolutions. For me tho, it's a matter of consistency. I give up too easily. Today it would have been so easy to jump back in bed with hubby (who's sick and didn't go with me to the gym) after taking the kids to school.

I like the treadmill for the most part. I have my mp3 player and headphones. I can drift off into my own little world filled with music that inspires me and lyrics that uplift me and varying tempos. I made the mistake one time of actually closing my eyes and walking but that didn't work out too well. There are so many reasons I want to be healthy and of a normal weight. First being that I've never done it before! I've been "overweight" since the 1st grade!! When I was a young teen, my biggest dream was to go off to a fat camp over the summer and come back thin the following school year. I wanted that dramatic revelation. I wanted people not to recognize me. I have similar fantasies now even. To go off to some sort of resort spa/weight loss center and come back stunningly healthy.

Notice that, as an adult I never wish to be thin. I just want to be healthy...and average size. I want to fit into all the rides at Six Flags. I don't want my knees to hurt. I want to shop at Casual Corner or Victoria's Secret. I want to dive off the diving board without people staring and commenting on my splash. (I do it anyway...but I would like to squash the onlookers) I want to buy a regular sized necklace at a craft sale and know it will fit me. I want to sit at the movie theater and not feel the urge to lift the middle arm. I want to ride in an airline seat and not worry that I'm crowding the person next to me. And not worry if the seat belt is going to fit. I want to get out of the tub and wrap up in a towel that is not supersized. Sooo many things.

So, Back to Weight Watchers tonight after a 3 week absence. They were closed Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve...and to be honest, I didn't make the effort to go to a different meeting. If I DON'T gain more than 2-3 pounds, I'll consider it a successful holiday season. Wish me luck.

2 comments:

Annie said...

And you should be proud...it's so easy to give and not go but you went and worked out.

I know just what you mean about wanting to fit in things like normal people. I haven't had a "regular" towel fit around me since right out of high school. I am so with you on all of those wishes.

I hope your weigh in went well.

Happy Mama to Three said...

I hope that weigh in went well. I am finally back to commenting with The Prince having gone back home from his holiday with us.

I have decided this year is my year to be "fit".

I am cheering for success for us both.

Cindi
(Yes you have an email coming, I will write this evening)