stuff

Ok, to catch people up on me and mine--

*** Mom's still in hospital but it's sounding better. Hopefully she'll be home in the next couple of days. Chemo is not set to start for at least 3-4 weeks.
*** Had a semi visit today. John's been sick so we kept him home from the visit and I stayed with him. Dale dropped the older two with her and brought Sheena home with him to go with me and John to lunch.
*** Which brings me to my eating. UGH. I have been AWOL from Weight Watchers for almost a month. I went back this past Friday with Christine and I was at the EXACT same weight I was 4 weeks ago. Which was UP from the last time I posted my weight on here. So I weigh in at 287.4.
*** I sorta have a part time job with a photography company but they haven't been keeping me busy. So, I'm thinking about becoming a substitute teacher here in Barrow County. The meeting is next week and we're still pondering it. It doesn't pay well and it's unstable. BUT, any money is one step closer to us moving.

All for now...

Mom

It's funny how when things are going well i'm all for blogging. Sharing my joy with the world. But one would think that in times of trouble I'd also find myself venting to my blog. But that hasn't been the case. It's like if I put the words down for others to read, it makes them all the more real. Well for the first time I'm putting down the words I learned a couple of weeks ago. My mom has cancer. As the chiild of a mother who's smoked all her life, I've always feared this day would come. That cancer of the lungs would rob her from me. But this colon cancer that has spread to her liver took me by surprise. It wasn't something I could be mad at her for contracting. It was noone's fault. She was in such pain and the doctors were mis-diagnosing her with diverticulitis. The surgery was last Tuesday and it went relatively well...but the doctors were unable to get the part that had to spread to the liver. So now she has to go thru Chemotherapy to shrink it (and hopefully disolve it all together) so they can go in and remove it too.

This has shaken me to my very core. I'd break out crying at the drop of the hat because I feared the worst. That she wouldnt be with us much longer. And it scared me. Scared me that we hadn't had enough good times together. Scared me that she wouldnt be here long enough to really get to be a part of the kid's lives. Scared me that I'd no longer have my biggest supporter around.

Her favorite words to me have always been, "if you think you can, you will. It's all in your state of mind." So I keep that mantra going these days for her. Trying to help her keep a positive state of mind.

Keep those positive thoughts and prayers coming.