a panic attack

There's nothing else that can really be said to describe what happened to me i guess. It started Christmas day morning...we had unwrapped the presents and were getting ready to clean up and get ready to go to Athens for the kids to visit with Linda. I started having these chest pains everytime i took a deep breath. Sometimes they went high up into my throat...sometimes as low as my mid chest. They slowly went away during the drive and after the kids were dropped off. Stayed gone until we were at the Siler party ...and they started up again. So bad i started crying. Felt so bad. They went away after the party when i lay down and rested. They havn't come back the past two days.

I've thought and read about so many things it could be...but stress seems to be the constant...I felt so stupid for letting stress get to me that way. Felt like a hypochondriac. And it's not fair to Dale for him to have the added responsibilities when i fell apart like that. God, i hope i can keep it together in the future.

Christmas Tug-O-War

I recently read in a friend's blog about the tug-o-war he was experiencing with his family and his girlfriend's family. How sad it is that we allow these special Christmas times to be marred by petty grievances. It's ONE day out of the year...one day that everyone wants to spend with that special someone. My husband's family is the most easy going about it as any family i've ever seen! They rarely spend the actually holiday with us family...they spend it with whomever they might have other obligations with and then we pick a day close to the holiday to spend together. Noone is ever upset or hurt.

This year, the "drama" came to me from two different fronts. We made all of our plans shortly after Thanksgiving and thought everything was set. Then a week or so ago, the "ex" tells Dale that she wants to have the kids for her family's Christmas party on the same day we're having the King Party...well Dale told her no because we had other plans. She gets snippy...wanting to know who's side of the family it was...his or mine. GRRRR.

Then...my father calls a couple of nights ago and says they're changing the Siler party to 2 hours earlier...well this totally threw off the precarious schedule we'd built for Christmas day that included the kids visiting with "Mommie Dearest" in Athens. I lost it. He lost it. Words were exchanged...then we made up...etc...i gave in...said we'll just be late then. THEN, he calls the matriarch...Grandmother Siler..(hereafter referred to as GMS..not to be confused with GMK (Grandmother King) ) and she says NO...we said 4pm, and 4pm it will be. hehehehe...so i got my way...thanks to GMS...but still.

And now it's John's Turn

It's John's birthday...we spent the morning at DMV & tag office then took John out to lunch at Fatz cafe...VERY GOOD by the way with some GREAT low carb meals. We gave him his gifts this afternoon (and he seemed to love them all!!) Dale & i got him a radio controlled car (and i now know the difference between radio controlled and remote control ...remote control has a string attached that you have to follow behind and drive it with ...with RADIO, there's no cord) a snoopy outfit, a set of tools, and a ball yoyo. Granddaddy Siler sent him a new ball & glove and Great Grandmother Siler sent him a stuffed alligator)and i fixed his favorite foods (Salisbury steak, corn on the cob & mac & cheese with Bananas for fruit & sprite to drink) and then we got out the Bob the Builder Cake :)

Happy Birthday Elizabeth

She turned 6 today..and to be honest, she's been a heathern all week! But today, she made the turn around and was good at school and at home. I had a great time getting all her gifts wrapped and kinda decorating the house. I made these little signs and put them around the house...one welcoming her into the house of a 6 yr old girl...one on her chair saying, "this is where a 6 yr old girl sits" and one on her door to her room saying "this is the room of a 6 yr old girl" she seemed to really like them. Additionally, i lit all the small votive candles around the house (there are a LOT) which made for a festive air. For her birthday, we got her a Care Bear poster and a Cinderella light up barbie. From Josh & John, she got Hello Kitty stickers and scissors and a pair of cheerleader pom poms. From Granddaddy Siler & Nana Lynne, she got a Care Bear DVD. She got money from her grandmother and from Janice, so we took her this afternoon to Toys R Us and she bought a Pegasus doll. Then they all three had coupons for free dinners at Burger King, so we went there. Then home for a Strawberry Shortcake cake from Ingles.

She's really grown up in the little over a year she's been in my life (or I've been in her's)! Not just physically either! (Although she's probably grown 3 inches.) but today she sat down and read a book to me!! Now i had to help her with some words...but she READ it to me. I was very proud!

She's going to be so beautiful! I just try to instill in her that beauty isn't everything...The old addage that "beauty is as beauty does" I sooo dont want her to grow vain. But she is maturing more each week it seems. I feel she's maturing more quickly than is Joshua (who's a year older) and will probably surpass him soon.

I really look forward to growing up with her.

a break

Yesterday was Veteren's Day and Dale, John & i headed up to Dahlonega to take a gander at the fall leaves and just get away for a while. We dined at the Smith House (YUMM) and just enjoyed the day. We walked around the town, partook of some fudge and then headed back home. Was very nice!

Dale said the SWEETEST thing to me the other night. We were watching TV (Oprah of all things!) and Dale told me to pause it. He says, " You know, i love you. In you, I feel like I've found a best buddy on top of everything else." That meant the world to me.

a funnyism

So while watching BOB THE BUILDER with John this afternoon, i see the character Wendy...i ask John if Wendy is Bob's girlfriend. He answers, "yes." "Are they getting married?" i ask. "No" he replies..."She's not wearing a ring." giggles again.

Overheard today

John and Elizabeth were playing restaurant...John gave his order..."I'll have a cheeseburger and a pair of dice with heinz 67 and french fried potatoes" we'll be glad he didnt get to the cold draft beer!

So we had to Run to Ingle's today

And I told John while we were at Wal-mart that we'd need to run into Ingle's also. While we were walking around Ingle's, he says, "Mom, you said we had to run into Ingles...but we didn't...we walked."

Songs to be weary of

Can't claim this one...but Stephanie...Dale's neice says, "Mommy, can you really see paradise thru the dashboard lights?"

another funnyism

So, once again, i sprained my ankle today. This time at a garage sale. Stepped on an uneven part in the garage/driveway area and SPLAT...God it hurt. I cried it hurt so bad. So i hobbled back to the car...Elizabeth was very concerned..."Mom, it's ok. Do you want me to drive home?" giggles.

me & mom 

Kids REALLY do say the funniest things

So John starts hollering for me a few minutes ago...MOOOOOOM...Moooooom....So i go in there to see what emergency has befallen him. "i have to go pee.." he explains. "That's fine John, but lets not yell for me...Just go do it. You're going to wake Joshua." (with whom he shares a room) He looks at me as we go into the bathroom..."So Mom, should i pee slow then?" GIGGLES to the inth degree.

First Real Day of School

Our kids started back officially Friday (after having been 4 days late due to paperwork issues) but it was only a partial day. Today they got up at 615am and caught the bus like big kids. Grins.
This picture was taken Friday for their first day...What you cant see is that Elizabeth's shirt is actually on backwards. Oh well.

so i'm never gonna be thin

I need to just face it...it's been 38 yrs and 3 days....and i've been fat all but 5 yrs of it. What brought this on? Well Elizabeth today hurt my feelings...Yes, i got my feelings hurt by a FIVE year old. She huggs me and says, "i guess i can love you even if you're fat Mom." Makes me start to cry again just typing the words. God. that just cut me to the core. And Dale thinks i'm making an mountain out of a mole hill because the words came out of her. But hell, just because it comes out of her mouth, doesnt make the words hurt any less. And it would be nice if Dale would work on trying to make me feel better rather than making me feel like shit for having voiced the feeling in the first place.

the things that make an impression

So it's been raining cats & dogs today...and we take the kids to Burger King for supper so they can play on the indoor playground. John goes up to some lady on the playground and starts talking to her..."My Mom...My Mom..." he's getting ready to tell her something...What will it be? She runs around in tee shirts and her panties? She kisses my dad a lot?..."My Mom cooks corn on the cob."

4th of July

First of all, i hope all of you had a great 4th. Our 4th was pretty low key but just as i've imagined it so many times. We got up Monday morning and went into the gym to play raquetball (Dale got a new raquet for Father's Day) then we had lunch and went by Old Navy to get 2005 Old Navy Flag shirts. (What a bargain too!!! highly recommend them at 2 for 7.99!!!) Then we came home and put the kids down for a nap and Dale and i took a nap too...Next thing we know, his family is there for a cookout..We slept right up UNTIL the cookout...too funny. So they came over, we rolled out of bed and got things moving. We gave all the kids water guns and all the water they could use and they had a BALL. We had a good dinner (hamburgers, hotdogs, corn on the cob and chips, with chocolate chip cookies for dessert)...ALL the kids made happy plates..then we sat around watching the Braves game (we won :) )until it got dark, then we shot of fireworks that we'd picked up in SC on Sunday. The kids loved them!! Then they went to bed, the company left and we then settled in to watch FIELD OF DREAMS...that seemed like a good 4th of July movie. So it was nothing exciting...but it was great together time and i really enjoyed that.

Old Navy Family 

ANOTHER Sunday

God I hate these Sunday visits with the woman who gets to officially call these children her own. She got mad today at me because I told the kids not to take their socks off at Burger King on the playground. I feel like those floors get soooo nasty...and the rules say to keep your socks on...So she told them they could take em off after I'd told them not to...and they say to her, "Mom said for us not to take off our socks" ...which just pissed her off...and she replies (according to Dale who heard it from her...) while you're with me, I'm the one in charge..." soooooo...I'm overruled...It's not a big issue...Just pissed me off. And I HATE watching them come out of BK towards the car...Dale with one or 2 in his arms, her with the other one in tow...them looking like a family. I KNOW that i have the kids 99.999 percent of the time...but i still resent these visits.

John, Joshua, & Elizabeth 

oh so boring

So I've spent all this time tonight looking and browsing through other people's blogs. God mine is boring!! My life isn't boring...My kids arn't boring, my husband isn't boring...So why on earth havent I created a more interesting blog for myself? Oh well...que sera sera. Maybe someday someone will read what i've written here and post a comment on my blog. Maybe. I'm about to post a picture of the kids I took today...Even though John is looking at a motorcycle that passed just as I snapped the picture, I like it. Dale's working late again...but tomorrow, our check should post to our account that we've been waiting on...and voila...magically, all our financial worries will be taken care of...I cant wait!!